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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Indiana Jones and the Strip Mall Bar (Part 2)

So Major Toht sidled up close on my left, staring down at me fixedly.  I thought, hokey dokey, and turned back to Friendly Farmer (who was only to happy to inch closer to my right side).  I tried to focus on Indiana and his band.  There was a tap on my left shoulder.
Major Toht:       Shhhzhh gnnna shuhf wha?
Me (smile):   I cannot hear you.
Major Toht (frowning) gnnnan thzzz rrr gonka streep?
Me (bigger smile and nod): I cannot hear you.

Major Toht held out his jacket and pointed at me.  Puzzled, I took his leather jacket with two fingers, hefted it a couple of times and handed it back.
Major Toht: Shhhzhh gnnna shuhf wha furrrzoh?
Me: Yes, it is certainly very heavy.  And I cannot hear you.

Major Toht looked very frustrated.  He pointed at me and then at himself, and then began waving his hands wildly around his head.   Noting my renewed attention at this interesting turn of events, Major Toht pointed toward the back of the bar and drew out a pack of cigarettes, offering me one (I shook my head, no.) He frowned.  Then, with a crazy smile,  he repeatedly threw his arms up over his head but this time with huge gestures and some skipping and hip gyrations.

Me:  Nuclear war?
Me:  Balloon ride?
Me:  I give up.  Anyway, I cannot hear you.

Major Toht was now clearly annoyed, so I moved away from the bar to a small round table with a chair, closer to the band.  I waved to Indy who grinned and waggled his eyebrows acknowledging my relocation and the reasons for it.  However, my independence was short-lived: Friendly Farmer reappeared on my right dragging a chair. He began a new unintelligible (and apparently amusing to him) monologue.  Major Toht with an angry scowl dragged up a seat on my left.  Toht took out his wallet (causing 12 interesting thoughts to race through my mind.) He placed first his driver's license in front of me on the table and then a business card indicating he was a financier.  This put a new perspective on the charades:  Was he hoping I would invest in explosives?

Major Toht: shhhhhzg nnrtgka   kkka furrrzaa wonka!

Just then a new large man, Boozy Santa, added himself to our group.  Boozy Santa didn't try to speak, he just stood near Friendly Farmer, smiling and staring.

Friendly Farmer glanced at Boozy Santa, put his hand on my wrist and promptly declared:
"Thz is mah wahff!"

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations on your nuptials. Thanks for the story. I needed a laugh and I can totally picture the expression on your face the whole evening.