2) But we had arrived late. I had barely enough time to race to the next gate and catch my flight to Raleigh. And no time to find food: I was going to have to settle for airplane snacks.
As I boarded I discovered to my horror that I was in the very last seat next to the window at the back of the plane. And the first two seats were taken up by two very nice, but very large individuals. I was crammed up against the glass (and I am not making this up) with my right foot on the seat so that I was staring at my right knee. I tried to imagine five hours flying with one leg down and one up at all times. Was this legal?
The kid in front of me was steamily ill, snuffling and sweating. He had an empty seat next to him on the aisle, kept clear by the attendants.
The plane was packed. I had stuffed my bags in the overhead compartments in the front as I worked my way to the back so there was nothing under my seat-let (or else I would have had both legs ups.) The flight attendants began making other passengers take their carry-ons back out to be checked since the bins were full. When everyone was finally boarded, we headed out to the runway.
Where we sat. And sat. And sat.
The pilot came on to tell us that there was an emergency light on the panel that would not resolve and that it needed some mechanics look at it. After 30 more minutes of waiting, the plane began rocking like mad and got smellier with exhaust fumes as the pilot gunned the engines.
We all looked around, like, hey, does this sound good to you?
After several more minutes of this, the pilot came back on to tell us that the plane needed to go back to the gate for repair and assessment. This process took 30 minutes as we had to wait for another plane to back out of the gate first.
Then the really long wait started: so long that the stewardesses began serving drinks. I felt sweaty with claustrophobia. We waited for over an hour and a half until the pilot finally came back on to let us know that the problem was with the reverse thrusters which weren't really that important except for landing; but since RDU had nice runways it really wouldn't be that much of a problem. So what the heck, we were going anyway!
As the plane taxied out to the runway, I had had enough of being origami Naiya. I had tried to think about what Kelly would tell me to do (put a lacrosse ball under the one butt cheek actually in contact with the seat?) and what Paul might say to do (Go to my Happy Place?) but then I decided to do what I figured ass-smacking Harry would tell me to do: I unbuckled my seat belt, struggled to my feet, and told the couple in my row to get up to let me out. I lurched up to the next row and plopped down into the single empty aisle seat next to the snuffling sick kid. I didn't care if the attendants tried to arrest me, I was not going back into that corner. They glared at me indecisively but I think my starved, half-crazed "I know Harry" look kept them buckled into their seats.
The Road to Enlightenment has many paths...
(to be continued....)
The kid in front of me was steamily ill, snuffling and sweating. He had an empty seat next to him on the aisle, kept clear by the attendants.
The plane was packed. I had stuffed my bags in the overhead compartments in the front as I worked my way to the back so there was nothing under my seat-let (or else I would have had both legs ups.) The flight attendants began making other passengers take their carry-ons back out to be checked since the bins were full. When everyone was finally boarded, we headed out to the runway.
Where we sat. And sat. And sat.
The pilot came on to tell us that there was an emergency light on the panel that would not resolve and that it needed some mechanics look at it. After 30 more minutes of waiting, the plane began rocking like mad and got smellier with exhaust fumes as the pilot gunned the engines.
We all looked around, like, hey, does this sound good to you?
After several more minutes of this, the pilot came back on to tell us that the plane needed to go back to the gate for repair and assessment. This process took 30 minutes as we had to wait for another plane to back out of the gate first.
Then the really long wait started: so long that the stewardesses began serving drinks. I felt sweaty with claustrophobia. We waited for over an hour and a half until the pilot finally came back on to let us know that the problem was with the reverse thrusters which weren't really that important except for landing; but since RDU had nice runways it really wouldn't be that much of a problem. So what the heck, we were going anyway!
The Road to Enlightenment has many paths...
(to be continued....)
