Hollywood must Die Hard

NO

"Hollywood" is an Americanese word, and is loosely translated as miente como un bellaco.

After a brush with Public Relations, I decided being a professional manipulator was not the career for me. I know now that my small contribution to misinformation counts for less than a stale frito chip compared to what is chummed out on a minute-to-minute basis in Hollywood. 

In the name of entertainment, HP (Hollywood Population) spews out more whoppers than the Deepwater Horizon does oil. These lies, [some of my favorites include:

• it's easy to have deep philosophical discussions with, and reach rational agreements with, 3 year old children (so why can't you?)
• men enjoy hours long conversations about the "tone" they use when saying stuff (don't yours?)
• pets are born cuddly, obedient and willing to drag you out of a burning home (so what is wrong with yours?)
• feeling love solves all problems, like the economy, etc. (so what's wrong with your life?)
and so on...]

These fabrications are designed to manipulate consumers by forcing an unfavorable comparison of their lives to an impossible ideal -- all based on the (actually true) axiom that Happy People Don't Shop (more on this later.)

Today I am addressing Hollywood's assertion (based on countless films, TV shows etc.) that if you have to get shot or injured, your shoulder is a safe, painless (and romantic) target since it contains unimportant excess flesh perfect for incidental bullet/sword/spear etc. wounds.

Clearly someone with no concept of the human body came up with this one, and people who have no motivation to actually verify any facts -ever- perpetuate it.

sexiest voice on the planet

 If you are unfamiliar with shoulder pain, look up excruciating in the dictionary. The shoulder is not only incredibly complex, but when damaged, is pretty much impossible to use. It packs ligaments, blood vessels, bones, cartilage and nerves into an area tighter than my Honda CRX's engine.

NO

Someone with a bullet hole through the shoulder joint isn't going to be able to hang by that arm off the edge of an elevator shaft (as much as I love Die Hard) (mostly because of Alan Rickman) (Galaxy Quest also greatly enhanced by Alan Rickman) (more on Alan Rickman later.)

seriously, sexiest voice on the planet

Anyway, I guess you can tell I am having a bad shoulder-pain day. I can't lift my tea mug much less an AK-47.

Ice, Ice, baby.